Insecurities.

I've been feeling down lately. I've feel left out and insecure. I feel like everyone around me is out there to get me. I start to question myself. I start to be having flashbacks on what I've done that could make me feel that way. Even looking at my friends terrifies me whether or not I've done something to offend them. I don't know what to believe anymore. I can go around laughing, telling myself I'm okay but when I get home & the silence starts to take its route I can't accept the fact that I'm alone. Then I found this picture ::

 

When I had problems, I used to think of the unnecessary things and in the end, they all unravel by themselves. All those worries meant nothing then. I know now that they will all go away and there's no need to feel bad and to hate. I have histories, a dark one. And I vowed to myself to never let that happen. So why am I that dumb to let insecurities and doubts take over me? They're not vincible and yet so powerful. I shouldn't be so dumb and afraid & i wouldn't be anymore. :)

Efforts.

When I was 8, I envied my sister for playing the organ. Then, I approached my mum & asked to be in piano lesson. Then, I started immediately at the age of 8. I never thought I'll ended up thinking at it as a drag. I've always felt reluctant to come for lessons & that my heart was gone when I do. I was shadowed by my sister who could play really really well. Then last year, it hit rock bottom for me. I failed both my piano tests & it cost my mum a fortune. Well, not literally but it was a big amount. I saw that look in their face ; my piano teacher, my parents & friends. This year, I thought of quitting. I locked myself up in my room & thought abt it.

THEN IT HIT ME.

 

I thought :

Even Einstein failed oh so many times & still he managed to be successful. So, I put the thought of quitting at the way back of my mind & tried again this year. I really worked hard that I became fond of in coming for lessons. I would find myself getting ready half an hour before it even starts! I learnt to be in love with it & fortunately, I managed.

Here's what I got to say,

Last March I re-took the exams. I just got the results yesterday.

Surprisingly, I passed with flying colours; 83/100.

So don't tell me you can't 'cause that's just a lame excuse. Things can be what you want em to be. All you have to do is get up, work hard & make em happen.

This is true story right here.

Suicide.

Right now, I really wish I could just jump off a bridge. Some say dying is easy, no pain, no worries. Dying is just you, sleeping for eternity with no disturbance like wht you have when you were breathing. But, when my hands were on the edge, my mind starts to talk me out of it. Wht abt the after life? I'm a Christian & I do believe on judgement day. So those people lied. Wht awaits me after my I end my life is more harder than life itself. I'm not ready  face em... yet. Life; tho hard, there are some good times in it. All you have to do when you fall is to get back  up & don't look back. You can't have the easy way even if it's death. So now, tht made you stop & think abt it, right? Well you should. You may thought you had a bad day but you're not the only way. Just so you know, life didn't come with instructions. So just make yr own & live yr life for it's the only thing you could do rather than blaming it.

 

Sincerely,

Stacey Dgaf

Right now.....

Right now, at this very moment, these word are the exact tht I wanna scream out loud at YOUR face. Believe me, I've tried pushing you away but of no avail. Tell me, wht should I do now? 'Cause I for one have fallen for you. You've captivated me & had caged my heart. So, tell me, mister, wht now?

Sincerely,

Stacey Dgaf

My Top 5 Songs!!!

5th : He Is We - Breathe

Other song tht I like from them :

Blame it on the rain

Too beautiful

4th : Taylor Swift - Back To December

Other songs tht I like from her :

Love Story

Teardrops on my guitar

3rd : The Wanted - Heart Vacancy

Other song tht I like from them :

All time low

2nd : Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts

And the winner is.... Justin Bieber - That Should Be Me

I hated him but hey, he really produces good music so yeah.

So there you have it. My 5 top songs.... for now tho. I'll keep y'all posted. (: LISTEN TO EM & GO WILD!!

STACEY'S OUT, PEACE!

Meet those who inspired my life.

In my life, there are lotsa people that had inspired me & shown me the other side of the word ; the great side. I'm so thankful that I've meet them & I love them dearly. First of ::

This is my sister ; Stephanie. She's the crazy & annoying kind. Well, if that's her nature, mine should be worst, ay? 8D

Next is my friends. They're the best mortals in the world ever!!! For me ofc. I couldn't live life to the fullest without em. They drove mr to success in everything. They stood by me when no one else does. They pat me by the shoulder when I'm down. They laughed at my lame jokes & made me feel safe. Thank you so much. (:

Presenting ::

Stephanie Dgaf

Miaka Yuuki~!

Theora Dgaf

Nur Liyana Dgaf

Ayunie Dgaf

We live, laugh & love together & we shall stay like that as long as we can. I thank you guys for everything.

Meet Me!!!!!!!!

I go by the name Stacey Audrey ak. Rakey. 8D But in my blog, do call me Stacey Dgaf. (: The Dgaf thing stands for Doesn't Give A Fuck, just fyi. Don't get me wrong tho. I do not mean to offend you. It's just that I tend to ignore what you're gonna say abt me or my life. Well, hurtful things. Note : DGAF is taken so bake off. xP Anyway!!!! People call me Drey (Rossa), Cey ( Close friends), and Stacey? I would have a cake laid in front of me every June on the 23rd. And here's what you should know about me. Just some instructions y'know. Stacey, that's me is :

<3 Allergic to bs. LOL. Jk, I live with BS.

<3 Tends to laugh without any reasonable reason.

<3 A lazy girl. A VERY VERY lazy one.

<3 Tends to forget.

<3 A cancer.

<3 An open-minded person.

<3 Loves boys. Well & girls. xDD

<3 Has a cat named Blackie.

<3 Turning 16th.

<3 Has awesome friends ; Rossa, Yana, Theo, Yunie, Shafiz, Siti, Pat, Mic, Steph ..... & it goes on.

<3 Easy to hate & easy to love.

<3 Tends to be hated & to be loved.

I guess that's it...for now. I'll keep posting when something crosses my mind. Tooddles now. <3:

Thats me. (: